A Little Book
by HPfanatic592
Summary: Another James finds Lily's diary and reads it fic. I know, you've read it before. But this one, hey, might actually be good! JPLE, RLOC, SBOC. Work in progress!
1. Chapter 1

A Run-In and a Discovery 

James leaned on the stone pillar next to Sirius. He was waiting for Lily to come down the stairs of Divination, as he did almost every single day. He had asked her out hundreds, maybe thousands of times, but Lily still wouldn't say yes to James' frequent attempts to go out with her. She thought he would give up after all those tries, but he persisted. To Lily, James was just a big pest and an embarrassing annoyance. But sometimes in the back of her mind she would think, _At least he's still good-looking_.

James Potter had longish, messy ink-black hair and hazel eyes. He had a handsome face and a strong, masculine build. But his best friend standing next to him, Sirius Back, attracted many more prospects. He had deep brown hair, almost black, and grayish-green eyes that made him look much older than seventeen. His face was strong, his shoulders and arms muscular, and he had a dazzling smile.

James saw Lily heading down with a younger friend, immersed in talking to her. He realized that she had passed him and sprung up to follow her. Sirius trailed him, practically running to keep up with his fast friend.

"Hey Evans!" James called after her, gliding with long steps to catch up to her.

She groaned in annoyance. Lily spun around to see James running towards her.

"Leave me alone Potter! You too, Black!"

Sirius made a pouty face and she stuck her tongue out at them. Lily snapped her head around, attempting to walk away without any more quarrels from them, but she was definitely wrong. Sirius sprinted just in front of her, causing her to crash straight into him and stumble forwards.

All of her books went flying in all directions, some skidding across the floor, some violently crashing against the wall, and others hitting people in the shoulder or side. Lily scrambled for her things, nearly stepping on her own cloak and falling once again. Sirius leaned back to examine his mischievous work, worthy of the Marauder's promise. James, though, knew what to do. He coolly glided over to pick up a small leather-bound notebook that had flown surprisingly far, since had not cracked open and fluttered everywhere like a few others. It had been strewn away from the others but he skillfully picked it up and looked at it, wondering why it was bound and had not flapped around like the others. He read the thin, curvy cursive writing on the front.

_The Diary of Miss Lily Evans_

James slipped in into his inside cloak pocket before she could realize he had taken it, and swiftly grabbed a nearby book. He handed her the schoolbook and she hastily thanked him with a nod of her head. James smiled. She could hardly be mean to him if he was being nice to her.

"Thanks, Black, Potter." she acknowledged them both and headed off to her next class.

James was smiling very wide. His cheeks almost hurt, but with all the power within him, he couldn't have stopped himself. Sirius had a questioning look on his eyes, like he knew what James was going to inform him of, but he did not know.

"What're you smiling 'bout?" he finally asked as they trotted across the lawn.

James pulled him behind a colossal set of Hagrid's pumpkins and pulled Lily's diary out of his cloak pocket.

"I got her diary."

"You're kidding me! How'd you get that?"

"I swiped it when she dropped it."

"Damn, you're good! Let me see it."

"No, wait, it's probably got a load of hexes on it; we'll let Remus get 'em off."

"Fine. Like you can wait that long," Sirius teased.

James punched him in the arm and laughed. He slipped the diary back into his cloak pocket and trotted out from behind the pumpkins with Sirius. He made his way over to lunch in the Great Hall, his stomach growling at him violently. He ate through all of his mashed potatoes, roast beef, and mince meat pies before he even thought about the diary once more.

As the younger years started filing out of the Great Hall, James and Sirius finished. Remus and Peter had just walked in when Sirius was wiping his mouth off with the sleeve of his cloak.

"Moony!" Sirius called out. "James got a favor to ask you."

As soon as James was finished his story, Remus shook his head disapprovingly.

"You need to give that back to her. She might not be your friend but she is mine and I'm not un-hexing it for you and nothing you say could convince me." Remus scolded, and Sirius just shook his head.

"I bet you there is," Sirius then cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted down the Gryffindor table. "Lissa! Ellisianna!" he shouted loudly, so that all of the Great Hall's occupants looked down at his direction. A blonde girl with blue eyes looked down with a questioning look on her face.

"Fine, fine, I'll do it!" Remus said hastily under his breath.

"Will you go out with me?" Sirius said jokingly to her.

"Ugh. No!" She rolled her eyes.

"Okay!" said Sirius, with a smile on his face. "See? I _can _make you do it." He said to Remus.

Remus was bright red in the cheeks. Ellisiana was the girl that he had had a crush on for months.

"Don't. Ever. Do that again." He said with a look of intense resentment on his face.

Remus tucked into his food and Peter followed. James and Sirius strode out of the Great Hall with smiles on their faces. But this incident made James think about the diary even more.

_Sirius was right, _he thought, _I can't get this thing off my mind!_


	2. Days, Dreams, and Daydreams

Sorry, it's been like forever since I've updated. Thanks for the reviews, more would be great, as would suggestions.

xxquidditchjunkiexx- lol, yeah. Second, thanks! And here you go, finally.

Satan Junior No Super Hentai-very…

The almighty and powerfulM- thanks, and you're right, it isn't going to be pretty.

Lil Miss Alissa- thanks, I really love Sirius so I wanted to put him in this story as much as I can!

miss mags ak- here you go!

hugs&such, Megan

**Disclaimer**: Duh, I don't own Harry Potter. But I DO own the beautiful person by the name of Cataline Isabeau Bodwyn. Do you see me bathing in millions of dollars, sitting in a café in London, writing to my heart's content? No. I sit in my bedroom halfway across the world typing on my laptop and eating stale cereal. In other words, I am not J.K. Rowling.

………………..

2:Days, Dreams, and Daydreams

It had been an extremely stressful day for a certain Lily Evans. She and her best friend had gotten into a huge row, leaving both girls in tears. James and his pack had embarrassed her once again. It was nothing less than a really rough day. So, as she always did in hard times, Lily rummaged through her trunk and books, looking for her diary.

_Where are you little diary of mine? Not there. I thought I put it there._

_You lost it, _A nasty little voice said in the back of her head.

_No way. I couldn't have lost it._

Realization hit her_. Oh my god. I really lost it._

_How could I have lost my diary! Oh, my god, who has it? Where did I put it? Where did I have it last? I don't remember! Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god…_

She was panicking. It wasn't under her bed, in her trunk, with her books, and none of the girls in the dorm had seen it.

Lily had had that diary since she was seven, and it held all of her deep, dark secrets. It told the tale of how much her parents fought, and her secret Animagus. Or that she used to throw up on purpose. Or that she secretly loved someone she _once_ loathed.

James sat in the Gryffindor common room with his head propped up on his arm. Remus was next to him, muttering spells and anti-hexes, occasionally jabbing at Lily's diary with his wand. Peter sat opposite him, playing wizard's chess with Sirius, and not surprisingly, losing. It had been two days since James snatched her diary from right under her nose.

He hadn't intended for it to have so many hexes on it. Both James and Remus, taking turns trying to un jinx it, had burned themselves, started giggling uncontrollably, been hit repeatedly with the book, grown (so far) two scaly tails, deer antlers(no problem for James), red, shiny clown feet, huge pointy breasts(on their backs), horrible acne, and an extra tongue each. Remus said that there were about forty two hexes on it; they had sustained twenty seven (by having the side effects impressed on them). James was tired; part of him wanted to give up and give it back to her.

"I got three more done," said Remus groggily as pinkish sparks flew out of Lily's diary and turned his eyebrows, hair, and stubble bright magenta. With a lazy flick of his wand they were light brown once again. James merely nodded, but inside he was cheering. He was itching to read what she had written about him. Remus handed him the diary. It was his turn to try and break open the lock. Time for Remus to have fun now.

After three very long hours and a bundle of curse words, James, with a little bit of help from Sirius, had succeeded five more spell locks on it. It was nearly one.

_Great, _James thought_, six hours of sleep._

They bid each other good-night and proceeded up to their dorms. James fell asleep instantly. His dreams crept their way into his subconscious mind.

(dream)

_Lily sat at the base of the Whomping Willow. She had her face buried in her hands, crying, tears streaming down her muddy face. The stars and the full moon reflected on her teary eyes. A massive black dog lay submissive at the edge of the forbidden forest. Its blue eyes were shiny and glassy. Then, the tree started convulsing, its great branches swaying about in a very violent matter. The leaves slapped the air, and the trunk twisted about. _

_But Lily didn't move. She sat there sobbing even harder than before, acting as if nothing was different at all. James was standing at the end of Black Lake. He started to transform into his Animagus, a white stag. He charged towards Lily, but the murderous tree slammed him backwards and he flew into the lake. With a great crash, his stag body intruded into the still surface of the lake. He fought to keep above the water, but his four legs kicked into just water. There was nothing to keep him up. When he tried to transform, he just sank lower into the deep abyss. His world was getting darker and darker until a strong, small hand grabbed the base of his antlers and pulled him up with surprising strength. _

_He retreated out of the water, returning to his human state. Lily stood with her hand at the neck of his sopping wet robes, holding him up. She dragged him to the great dog at the edge of the forest. The dog, obviously Sirius, got up, sniffed the air, and then lunged at James. His claws sunk into James' chest. James cried out into the silent night. At then, someone-who bore an extreme resemblance to himself-came swooping down on a broomstick, picked up Lily and then dragged James out of Sirius' clutches. The Whomping Willow was waving frantically, and the boy was flying right into it! He pulled on the boy's robes, then the boy turned around and faced James._

"AHHHHH!" James screamed. He looked around. He sighed in relief. He was still in his dormitory, safe in his blankets, with all the other boys still sound asleep around him.

_It was just a dream, _he thought._ It was just a nightmare._

_But that boy- he looked- like me. But he wasn't me. He was like- my son._

James shook the thoughts out of his mind. He didn't have a son, and wasn't planning on one for a very long time. And that dream made no sense anyways.

He looked over at Sirius, who was sound asleep in his bed with his arms hanging over the sides, drool creeping out of his open mouth. James shook his head. Sirius would never do anything to hurt him; he knew that they were best friends.

James felt from under his pillow, and once his felt that the diary was still there, he was at peace.

He rolled over, and after a few long minutes, he fell asleep again.

…………………

At the same moment, Lily was laying down on her bed. She hadn't slept all night, knowing that her diary was missing. Her mind replayed the events of the last few days. She couldn't think of anything that pointed to where her diary was.

There was _personal _stuff in there!

There was WAY personal stuff in there!

Lily sighed. She was going to personally kill whoever took it.

And the thought of getting revenge calmed her.

She rolled over, and after a few long minutes, she fell asleep.

…………………

"Lily! Wake up!"

"Leave me alone!" Lily groaned, pulling the covers over her head.

"It's seven thirty! We're going to be late!"

Lily jumped out of bed like it was on fire and looked at her watch.

Six fifty-nine.

"You big fat liar!" she yelled at her friend.

"Works every time. Get up," Cataline said through giggles.

Lily looked at her. Her hair was messy, her eyeliner was smeared, and she had imprints from her pillow on her face. But she still looked beautiful.

Lily had always been jealous of Cataline.

Cataline Isabeau Bodwyn was probably perfect. She had a beautiful name. She was funny, smart, nice, and popular. And she was gorgeous. She had the most perfect honey-blond hair that was straight and long to her back. Often a white flower was tucked behind her hair. Her eyes were a mixture of the lightest blue and the brightest green and they always seemed to sparkle somehow. Her eyelashes were dark, making her look like she had tons of mascara on when she didn't have any on at all. Her cheeks were always perfectly rosy, and her skin was flawless. It was pale-ish, glowing, and smooth. She had the most kissable lips. They were strawberry-colored and _perfect_- normal at the top and a little bit bigger at the bottom.

All the guys goggled over her. Even when her hair was messy in a ponytail, with a quill stuck behind her ear, without any makeup on, they lavished over her.

Mostly, Lily wanted to strangle her to death.

Nevertheless, she was her friend. But sometimes jealousy got the best of her.

"I hate you Cataline," Lily said as she pulled on her robes.

"Why?"

"'Cause you're perfect."

"I'm not perfect, Lils. Far from it."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Ha!"

Lily and Cataline made their way down to the Great Hall at seven-fifteen. She had forgotten all about the diary, and that was a good thing, or otherwise she'd be a mess.

"Hey Evans!" a familiar voice called from behind her.

Lily groaned, but her heart really fluttered. "Potter."

James put his shoulder around Lily, but she shrugged it off. The place where he had touched her seemed to burn and tingle.

"Will you go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?" he asked sweetly.

Lily sighed. James asked her out at least once a day, and even though she would love to say yes, oh, what would it do to her reputation.

"No, Ja-Potter, I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and a merperson!" she retorted. She cussed herself out for almost calling him James.

James stuck out his lip and made his eyes go all puppy-dog. It was hard to resist those sparkling, gorgeous hazel-brown eyes, and she fought the strong urge to kiss those lips. She licked her own lips and bit her lip to keep herself.

"Don't give me that," she said before she strode away with Cataline.

Sirius gave James a pitying look. James looked crestfallen; he suddenly appeared sad. But his big ego inflated him instantly and the look disappeared. Remus shook his head.

"She has to say yes sometime," Remus offered. James shrugged his shoulders and they followed Lily and Cataline into the Great Hall.

As Lily sat down, she caught a nasty glance at her yesterday-best-friend, Maire. She gave her the same bitter look back and they both returned to breakfast. But that reminded Lily sadly of her missing diary. She turned her mind to food.

Piles of pancakes, mounds of sausages, platters full of bacon and eggs, stacks of toast, jars full of orange marmalade, pitchers of orange juice, pyramids of biscuits, and rows of French toast occupied the table. Lily was starving; she grabbed some of everything and began eating. James walked past her. In her peripheral vision she saw him looking at her pitifully. Her eyes cast down towards her plate as she poured herself some orange juice. Daydreams crept into her mind…

"_Hey Lily, will you go out with me?"_

"_Of course, James, because I love you!"_

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah, I love you!"_

"_I love you too."_

"_Let's get married!"_

"_Okay, how about today?"_

"_Great! I can't wait to be Mrs. Lily Potter."_

_Mrs. Lily Potter. Mrs. Lily Potter. Mrs. Lily Potter. Mrs. Lily Potter. Mrs. Lily Potter. Mrs. Lily Potter. Mrs. Lily Potter. Mrs. Lily Potter. Mrs. Lily Potter. Mrs. Lily Potter._

"Lilyyyyyyyy?" Anyone home?" Cataline interrupted.

"Oh! Sorry," Lily murmured and blushed. She loved the sound of Mrs. Lily Potter. It went together. She wished she had the courage to say yes to James.

Just then, a thousand owls swooped down and dropped their packages and mail to their recipients. Lily was surprised when a large gray owl dropped an envelope to her.

"Oh!" she said as she caught the package.

She opened it. Inside was a small piece of parchment that said only said five words.

_Someday you will say yes._

It was unsigned. Lily turned it over and gasped, failing to hide her smile.

A single baby lily was bound to the note.


	3. Success and a Close Call

Wow, thanks for all the reviews! I don't think I've had so many in such a short amount of time. Thanks to my reviewers, **Lil Miss Alissa**(I reread the book and James' eyes are hazel, though, not green.)**, Amelie Foy,** and** silentb.**

Not much to say except I'm off of school all this week, so keep checkin' your email if you have this story on alert, it should be updated bunches.

**I love reviews like a fish loves water, like God loves loving, like elephants love peanuts, and like a die-hard Rebel hates Yankees.**

**A.K.A. Gimme dem reviews!**

--A little side note. Bodwyn, Cataline's last name, is an alteration of Blodwyn, which is Celtic for "white flower". That's why I said she wore white flowers in her hair. Maire Bricriu Rhiaine's name is slightly altered but in Celtic means "bitter sharp-tongued maiden". Since I can't really find a way to describe her physically in the story, I'll tell you now. She has straight dark brown hair and brown eyes. Light skin. She has a long-ish face and these mean-looking eyebrows that make her look really bitchy. She's popular and snobby.

hugs&such, Megan.

Disclaimer: Duh, I don't own Harry Potter or any of the other characters in the books/ movies. BUT. I DO own Cataline Isabeau, Ellisiana, and Maire Rhianie. So get permission from me before you go copying my made-up but beautiful names. I'll probably say yes. Probably.

…………………

**Succession and a Close Call**

"Who gave it to you?" Cataline squealed as Lily retold the story to her-for the fifth time.

"I _told_ you, I don't know!" she said, agitated. Maire, her ex-best friend, had heard the whole ordeal and told anyone and everyone within earshot. By first period, everyone had heard of it or heard a piece of the story. About Lily's secret admirer and how he had given her the baby lily.

Cataline thought this was just the cutest thing in the whole world, Lily getting a lily. Lily was annoyed. Whoever had sent it had absolutely no sense, to send it when everyone was watching. It had angered her- no, angered wasn't strong enough. It made her want to hex whoever did this and throw their body in the Black Lake with the giant squid.

James' stomach squirmed when he heard that everyone knew about Lily's lily. There were rumors all around about who had sent it. But none put James into the picture. He couldn't decide if he was glad or disappointed at this. Partially, he didn't want anyone else to tell Lily that it was James. He wanted to tell her himself. But, as a Marauder, he wanted to let people know it was him.

With Remus and Sirius at his heels (Peter dropped Potions in his seventh year), James strode into Potions, sat on a bench directly behind Lily, and stared at her red hair.

"Oh, god, is he looking at me? Don't look _now_! Oh my lord," Lily muttered hastily to Cataline, who was sitting next to her. She saw him come in in the corner of her eye. Her cheeks flushed.

Cataline oh-so-smoothly stretched back and caught a glance at James.

"Yeah," she whispered without turning her head towards Lily.

Lily winced and starting writing notes to her friends in class. It always looked like she was taking notes, though.

But James was preoccupied. His head was propped up on his hand. He really sucked at Potions, and old Professor Slughorn didn't make things any more interesting. Watching the back of Lily's head was much more fun. She was always taking notes frantically and raising her hand. _Teacher's pet_, he thought, smirking.

Lily put her hand in her cloak pocket and held the lily there. She played with its soft petals until she had to start brewing her Hiccupping Potion, then she sadly let it go and went to the cupboard to retrieve the ingredients. She saw James get up for them as she left her stool. A small smile escaped from her lips.

As soon as she had finished her potion, she grabbed a tiny glass vial with a lilac colored topper from the shelf and lowered it into the cauldron, letting the vial fill up. She put the topper on, set the vial on the desk, and went to return her extra potion ingredients to the cupboard. James had selected the same style of vial and filled his potion in it.

"Students, please put these in a safe place until tomorrow, when we will be trying them out on your classmates. That's all for today, you are dismissed," Professor Slughorn informed them.

Sirius was racing out the door and James, who was grabbing his books, absentmindedly took a vial with a purple topper from the desk nearest him, not remembering his was already in his pocket.

…………………

It took all of the Marauders' next free period to get rid of ugly pimples that Lily's diary had issued at them while trying to get the jinxes off it. James would _not_ be seen with those, he was the most popular boy in the school! Peter was no use in helping; the one time he tried, he nearly burned the book to shreds. It was much easier for Remus and James and Sirius to do it.

"Damn!" Sirius exclaimed as his fingers melted together, webbing. He shook his hands around until the burning stopped and Remus could un-web his fingers.

"I guess that's two more?" James asked, his heart thumping.

"Yeah. That's about thirty seven. Just a few more to go," said Remus lazily.

James was so happy he could have played Quidditch against the Slytherins for forty-eight hours straight without stopping, even in the pouring rain.

Sirius laughed, and changing the subject, said, "How's Ellisiana, Remus?"

Remus blushed profusely. "I haven't really- um, - talked to her."

If Remus had a weak spot, it was girls. Except for maybe Peter, he was the shyest guy around. Just looking at a girl made his cheeks turn crimson.

"I dare you to ask her out to Hogsmeade this weekend," said James, in a mock serious tone.

"Seriously?" Remus said, his eyes wide with fear.

"No, I ask girls out _Sirius_-ly. You ask her out _Remus_-ly!" Sirius joked, laughing his head off.

All the rest of the Marauders rolled their eyes. That was probably the oldest and stupidest joke Sirius had up his sleeve.

"Ha ha, Sirius. Very funny. You really think I should ask her out?" Remus was in excited distress, and it was quite fun to watch.

"Sure. You've liked her for forever," James offered, throwing Remus the diary.

"Fine," he said in a small, scared voice. He was going to show his show-off friends.

"And you have to do it tomorrow in the Great Hall," Sirius said, laughing at the look of horror on Remus' face. He turned chalk-white.

"And I dare you to bring her back up here and snog the living daylights out of her!" James added. A little color returned to Remus' pale face at the mental image of her on top of him. He smiled.

"You're on."

Sirius and James cackled with laughter, tears welling up in their eyes. For a moment, Remus wanted to hold back his laughs, but he ended up rolling on the floor with the rest of them.

…………………

"Lissa!" Remus called down the table next morning at breakfast, his determination focused.

"Yeah?" she replied, sticking her head out of the crowd. She was looking especially beautiful today, with her blonde hair all curly like that.

He gulped down his fears. In one breath he spit out, "You wanna go to Hogsmeade with me this Saturday?"

She smiled. "I'd love to."

Remus positively beamed at her.

Sirius and James slapped him on the back in congratulations, while Peter sort of whimpered a "good job". A few Gryffindors cheered, Ellisiana turned pink, but was smiling widely.

All throughout the day, Remus had a grin on his face. Even Lily turned to Remus and smiled when he asked her out. Even though Lily and James were enemies, Remus and Lily were friends. She mentally scratched his name off the 'Who gave me the lily' list.

She made the list- mentally, of course, if someone found that…- and was scratching the names off one by one. She didn't include Slytherins, of course, the only love they have is for You-Know-Who. She had narrowed it down to three Ravenclaws, four Hufflepuffs, and two Gryffindors.

And one of those Gryffindors happened to be Mister James Potter.

Sure, she hoped that it would be him, but he always teased her, embarrassing her beyond belief. She could hardly take it. But then again, he did always ask her out. To humiliate her!

Lily sighed. It was Friday, which meant she didn't have homework to do at the moment. The portrait hole swung open to reveal a very, very happy group of boys.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter walked into the common room.

Lily cast her head down and fiddled with her earrings. She thought she felt James's eyes on her, but the four boys made their way up to the boy's dormitory. She took a quick look at James' nice butt as he walked up the stairs and smiled as she turned back around. All those years of Quidditch had really paid off!

…………………

"FINALLY!" James shouted as they reached the dormitory.

They had opened Lily's diary.

James felt like tap-dancing naked in front of the whole Great Hall, he was so happy.

He sat on his bead, exploding with happiness, and clicked open the heart-shaped clasp.

A female voice was heard from the common room.

"JAMES POTTER!"

…………………

James stuffed the diary in his pillow and ran downstairs.

_Oh, shit. _

Lily was downstairs in the common room, looking enraged. She had her hands on her hips (James thought she looked sexy when she did that) and her eyes were full of fury.

"Yes, Evans?" His voice was wary and nervous.

_Please not know about the diary, please don't know about the diary…_

"Give me back my Hiccupping Potion!" she yelled fiercely.

James was relieved beyond belief. But he was confused. He didn't have her Hiccupping Potion.

"I don't have it, Evans." There was a tone of seriousness in his voice. He reached into his cloak pocket to extract his own vial when his face fell. There wasn't just one bottle but…_two_. He grinned sheepishly and raised his eyebrows tensely. His handed Lily the lavender-topped vial.

"Er…I reckon there was a mix-up or something…I didn't mean-"

Lily snatched the vial out of James' outstretched hand. She stuffed it into her pocket, thought for a moment, and then kicked him in the shin. Hard.

He immediately grabbed his right shin and fell over. Yeah, that hurt, even if she was a girl. Lily had a look of satisfaction on her face.

"That's what you get, jackass." Lily walked out of the portrait hole with her head held high, Lissa and Cataline following after with looks of shock on their faces.

Even though his leg hurt and was probably bruised (as was his ego), he was so glad she hadn't found out about her diary missing.

_That was one damn close call,_ he thought.

……………………


	4. Stupid Ten Year Olds

-claps like a cheerleader on caffeine-

OMG I am so flippin happy! This is the most reviews I've ever gotten for such a small amount of chapters! –squeals too loud- Thank you, thank you, thank you, all ya'll who have reviewed. I adore and love you to death. I'm handing out cyber chocolate chip cookies to all of you, plus they're fresh out of the cyber oven. lol. Anyways, I am soooooo happy so please keep reviewing because it keeps me writing! Please check out some of my other stories, if you wish. :) I love you guys. I hope you like this chapter, it's alright, and I was in a bit of a rush I think. Promise me if you hate this chapter you'll keep reading it?

hugs&such,

megan

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Harry Potter, they wouldn't be so wholesome and innocent.

…………………

**Stupid Ten Year Olds**

…………………

Remus, Peter and Sirius howled with laughter when they heard what had happened in the common room.

Tears of mirth welled in Sirius' eyes as James shot detestable glances at him. Even Remus, who was usually reserved and quiet, was laughing his ass off. Peter didn't, though, instead, he chortled nervously. James didn't find this unusual. He rubbed his swollen calf for a moment and then suddenly remembered,

_I have Lily's diary and I haven't even read it yet!_

James snatched the diary from under his pillow and trudged downstairs to the common room. He could still hear their laughter from upstairs. A few second and third years were playing wizard's chess, but other than that, no one else was on there. He supposed they were all at dinner and took advantage of that fact to stretch out on the lumpy sofa and crack open Lily's diary. Apprehension filled him like a balloon.

He read the first entry with anticipation.

_Dear Diary,_

_Hey it's me Lily. This is my first writing in here in my little diary that I got for my tenth birthday. I'm so happy! I got so many presents today, and they were all good. Even Pet was nice to me today! Anyways, I better go, mum's calling me. See you later!_

_Love,_

_Lily _

James rolled his eyes. Stupid ten year olds. Who was Pet anyways? Maybe a friend he didn't know about? He flipped a few pages as Lily became eleven. They were now dated.

_July 17_

_Dear Diary,_

_I had the strangest day today! An owl- a real live owl- came around our house and mum tried to swat it away but it dropped a letter- and it was for ME! It said I was a witch and I was accepted to this school called Hogwarts to learn magic. I can't even explain it, but it's going to be so awesome, I can't even wait to go. Petunia is dead jealous of me! Whatever, I don't care much for her anyways, even though she's my sister she still hates me. I'm going in a couple of days to get supplies and stuff, and you get to come along with me! _

_Love,_

_Lily _

James looked at a piece of very yellow parchment inside. He carefully opened it. It was Lily's acceptance letter to Hogwarts. He flipped through a couple of pages, noting how little Lily had actually written until she was thirteen. He began on an entry there.

_March 11_

_Dear Diary,_

_I hate that nitwit James Potter! He embarrasses the crap outta me and it's getting on my nerves! At least-_

James sat up and saw a crowd of seventh years come in. Lily's friends Ramona and Heather were giggling about something. He stuffed the book under himself, between the threadbare cushions and his butt. Much to his displeasure, Ramona came and sat on top of him.

"Hey Jamsie!" she squealed, ruffling his messy black hair. He groaned. Ramona had a huge crush on him since their Sorting Hat days, and just about everyone knew it.

"Hey Ramona," he said, irritated. The diary was at stake, being under his butt and all. He couldn't move until she had left.

"So! Whatcha been up to?" said Ramona, who was talking in a sing-song voice, looking like she had just consumed three sugar quills in five minutes. Hyper.

"Um…not much." He was becoming extremely uncomfortable under Ramona, who was still sitting on top of him.

"Oh. Well, see ya 'round!"

"Bye."

Ramona finally leaped off of James and left to the girls' dormitories with Heather. He snatched the diary quickly from under the couch and looked around, checking to see that no one was here, and cracked it open once more.

"Where was I?" James muttered under his breath, flipping through the pages until he found where he was. "Ah, here we go."

He reread the part of the passage he had already read, but when he got to the part that he hadn't, he heard someone coming down from the dormitory. _Not again!_, he thought and promptly shut the diary and shoved it under him.

Lily was sulking down the stairwell. He thought she had left, but she must've come back while he was in the boy's dormitory. He was turned around, facing her, when she looked at him. Her heart leapt.

Instead, she scowled at him and moped over to the couch and plopped down beside him. James was shocked. Lily had actually sat next to him! His mind raced.

Lily was shocked at herself. She had actually sat next to him! Her mind raced.

(A/N- Sorry, I know that both of those were nearly the same, but it was supposed to be, to show that they felt the same. I like to do that; you'll see it a lot.)

"What's got you down?" James asked her, to his own amazement.

She mechanically rolled her eyes and let out a sigh.

"I suppose you would care, of course," said Lily, with a tone of sarcasm in her voice.

"Of course, I would. Let's hear it then, eh?"

He put his arm around her shoulder, like he had days before. The movement reminded him, with pain that the diary was still under him.

She uncomfortably pushed his arm off and he shrugged his shoulders. He had tried, at least.

"Well, at least tell me what's wrong," he pleaded, giving her those pitiful puppy dog eyes. She gazed into them, almost getting lost, when she snapped out of it and rolled her eyes once more.

"Stick you lip in. Why should I trust you Potter? All you've ever done is torment me."

"Torment you? Asking you out was tormenting you?" he asked, offended.

"Well, you don't really mean it, and that's bloody annoying after seven years."

"I do mean it, Evans."

"Yeah, right." She made a disgusted sort of sound.

James looked hurt but stared at her intently. She was picking her nails, lost in thought. She glanced at him.

"Tell me, Evans. You can trust me, I swear it." He held his hand out for her to shake. She gazed at it; finally clasping her hand in his and shaking.

If it was Lily's pounding headache or her imagination, she thought she felt sparks erupt out of her fingertips and shoot through her hand. James shivered. If he had not been mistaken, he thought he felt tingly sensations running all throughout his spine as they touched…

She dropped his hand and stared at the floor. Lily switched from her sitting position and crossed her legs, facing James. He mimicked her actions so that they were facing each other. It was rather awkward for a moment as Lily played with her nails and James stared at them. She didn't look at him as she spoke.

"I dunno, it's been a stupid day. I lost my diary-"

A rushing surge of guilt rushed through James.

"-and I had the dumbest row with my friend. That stupid lily caused tons of gossip. And the whole potion thing," she grinned at him sheepishly, "I'm sorry. I don't think you did it on purpose."

James smiled weakly. Maybe he shouldn't have sent her that lily. But this was so surreal! They were being civil to each other- something you don't so everyday (or any day, for that matter). It was awkward, though, two enemies sitting on the same couch, not throwing insults at each other when they had for nearly seven years.

For a split second, James thought about pulling the diary out and giving it back to her, but the consequences rushed through his head. He didn't want that. It would perfectly fine to just slip it in her trunk one day during one of her classes, or something. She couldn't know that he had it. It would ruin whatever it was they now had.

"James?" Lily asked, seeing he had spaced out. Then she realized, she had used his first name!

"Huh? Oh, sorry," James muttered as Lily looked up at him, her brilliant emerald eyes glistening with fresh tears. She didn't know why she was crying.

"Oh, please don't cry," he begged.

Lily thought, _So maybe I don't have anything to cry about, but it gets his attention!_

The scene produced a mixture of feelings for both of them. Lily was confused, sad, and yet ecstatic that Potter was- dare she say it- acting _concerned_ for her. James was confused, also, cheerful, and dare he think it- acting civil towards both his enemy and crush. Needless to say, it was surely bittersweet.

She was wiping her eyes with her sleeves, smearing her mascara down her cheeks and up around her eyes. He smirked.

"You've got black stuff all around your face," said James, grinning.

"Whatever. I don't care." She realized that it would smear; she was sort of seeing if James would say anything.

He took a breath and blurted it out. "You still look beautiful though."

Lily rolled her eyes and gave him sort of a lopsided smile. She closed her eyes and rested her head sideways on the chunky couch, thinking.

James tilted his head in alignment with hers and kissed her lightly on the lips.

…………………

-Sorry for the cliff, guys, I wanted to save the rest for the next chapter. I guess you'll just have to keep reading. :)

See that little box down there? Please click it. I'm making cyber apple pie this week, for anyone who wants a slice…review!

…………………


	5. I Think I Already Did

WOOHOO! Over a thousand hits, and the most reviews, favs, and alerts out of all my stories. I love you guys. More reviews would result in a slice of cyber cheesecake…hint hint…

hugs&such,

Megan

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, blah blah blah.

**_ATTENTION_: You MUST read this before you read this chapter.**

Lily has 2 sides. One is her true self, and what she really thinks about Potter. The other is her fake self, who has to keep her reputation and act like she doesn't fancy Potter.

…………………

**I Think I Already Did…**

He took a breath and blurted it out. "You still look beautiful though."

Lily rolled her eyes and gave him sort of a lopsided smile. She closed her eyes and rested her head sideways on the chunky couch, thinking.

James tilted his head in alignment with hers and kissed her lightly on the lips.

She jerked her head up in shock and gazed into his eyes with a worried look upon her face.

_Oh god what did I just do?_** You kissed her, you dolt.**_ Why did I do that? She thinks I'm a fucking pervert now!_** No she doesn't. Look at her.**

It was true. Lily now had a slight smile playing upon her face. But she was thinking..

_Oh my god, he kissed me. _**A troll could've figured out that much. **_But what if he didn't mean it? What if this is all some joke? This is a _joke

Lily looked as though she were about to cry when she sprang from the couch and ran out of the common room.

"Lily, wait!" James called after her, but it was too late. Lily was sprinting down the stairs, her feet moving faster than she had ever imagined they could. Tears clouded her vision as she burst through the open wood entrances and flung herself out into the bitter open air.

She ran automatically to a flat boulder near the shore of the lake and crashed down onto it. Lily buried her head in her hands, tears dripping from her fingers. The joke had gone too far. He _was _joking, right?

James snatched the diary and shoved it into his robes, chasing after her. He discovered the doors were open and headed out into the cool air and saw her sobbing by the lake. James rushed towards her but didn't know what to say when he finally reached her. Awkwardly patting her on the back, not knowing why she was crying, he murmured, "It's ok, Evans, it's ok."

She violently hurled her arm to push his hand off her back and spun around with a severe look of loathing upon her face.

"Don't touch me," she said in a dark, bitter tone that made shivers go up James' spine.

"What's wrong?" asked James, confused. Girls were so complex.

"WHAT'S WRONG?" she screamed, causing James to jump back several feet.

"You think you can just go around kissing people like that? It's just a big joke to you, isn't it? Bastard!" she seethed, about ready to curse his ass off right there. Instead, she slapped him- hard- across his cheek. He looked shocked and genuinely hurt. A sudden pang of guilt hit Lily at the sight of his sad face.

"B-but-Ev-Evans," he stammered, "I-I-meant it." He almost looked on the verge of tears as he touched his crimson cheek, not from pain, but from emotional hurt.

Lily was crying, but still angry. She made a face that said "Yeah, right".

_Oh, damn he really did mean it! This is all my fault, all my fault…_

"Potter, you may think this is funny, but I don't. Your stupid little jokes, asking me out, all this- stuff- it's- I can't take it anymore." Lily felt proud.

"But I mean it," he begged.

"Prove it."

"I think I already did."

"That was a joke."

"No it wasn't. Listen, I really care about you."

"Then why do you keep bothering me?"

"I don't bother you, do I?"

"No shit, Sherlock."

"Who's Sherlock?"

Lily sighed and sat down. James carefully nudged next to her and played with the grass at his feet. Silence plagued them for a few minutes until James spoke up.

"Why won't you go out with me?" he quietly questioned.

Again, Lily sighed heavily and gazed up at the sky.

"James," she almost whispered, "it's not that I _won't_ go out with you as much as it's that I _can't _go out with you. I'm sorry."

"Why can't you go out with me Lily?" The use of first names was new to him. "I've asked you out for such a long time; there's been so many opportunities."

She shook her head. "You know how horrible that would be?"

"What? That the famous James Potter _finally_ got Lily Evans to say yes?" he asked.

Thoughts whirred in her mind. The last six words made her think.

"_You_," she breathed, amazement in her eyes. "_You_ sent the lily?"

He produced a mischievous half-smile. "You caught me," he said, shrugging his shoulders.

"You're KIDDING!"

"Nope. Suppose not," said James calmly.

"Bu-but-you! You-don-don't-can't…"

"What? Like you?"

Lily nodded.

"Of course I like you, Lily, I care about you."

And then she started to cry. James put his arm around her and pushed her into his body. For a second, Lily was perfectly happy, lying in his arms, breathing in his intoxicating smell. But this wasn't right. She couldn't be seen with him. What was worth more? Her reputation or her love?

"James?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry for this."

"For what?"

As if a knife slashed her heart, she pushed him into the lake and watched him crashed into the still, eerie surface. He sputtered and struggled to hold onto the bank, his nails digging into chunks of mud. Lily looked at him helplessly as he climbed back onto the shore and got up.

"I'm sorry," she moaned, tears falling freely from her face.

He looked at her with a distant face that said _Why?_

Lily couldn't take it anymore. She gave him one last pitiful look and ran past him, slower this time, up the marble stairs, into the castle, and out of sight.

James sighed heavily and pulled out his wand, casting a drying charm that lessened the murky water dripping from his midnight black hair and robes. He rummaged his mind for what he said- what he'd done- to make her do that.

Nothing seemed to hit him, and the sun was nearly set, so he scraped the last traces of mud off his trainers and ascended the stairs to the Gryffindor common room. After he muttered the password to the Fat Lady (_"Buttercups"_) he sulked to the boy's dormitory. He saw that Lily was sitting on a gold armchair in the corner. He didn't dare to look at her.

The rest of the Marauders were no where in sight, so James looked for the Marauder's Map when he heard a noise from outside. A howl. The moon shown clear through the clouds. The full moon.

He bolted down through the common room and out of the castle, towards a still tree and a shaggy black dog. He stared at James and barked, then heading down a small hole near the tree. James transformed and sprinted towards the opening, heading down a passageway that echoed the loud howls of a werewolf.

…………………

-Not exactly a cliffhanger, but something to think about. Thought I'd put a little bit of action in there. And tell me what you think about this chapter, I'd love to know. That little blue box down there? Click please.


	6. Black Birds and White Envelopes

I'm not even going to apologize, just read it. Sorry if classes are messed up, get over it. Love yall for sticking through my like, 5 month delay. Plus, sorry if it sucks because I haven't been writing for well... 5 months. PLEASE just review honestly!

megan!

Two sweaty, blood-stained boys laid on the cool, dewy grass of Hogwarts. Peter leaned against a cold stone boulder with his chubby hand clutching a shoulder. James and Sirius, both shirtless, made dew-angels to cool off their arms, burning with heat and pain. Peter's breaths were quick and erratic as he peeled off his torn orange sweater with his left hand, the right one still holding his shoulder. An owl, perched on a tall tree on the Forbidden Forest, startled them as it hooted loudly into the navy night sky. The full moon seemed to bleed into the wispy cirrus clouds. A very faint, barely visible blue light crept up the other side of the horizon.

For thirty minutes this continued until a tired Sirius sat up and surveyed the others. James was asleep, just barely; Peter was slumped on the ground, attempting to breathe steadily; a now-changed Remus was crawling out of the still willow with shaky limbs, sweat-drenched hair, and blood all over his clothes. Sirius nudged James on the leg to rouse him. James got up and motioned to Peter to get to the hospital wing. With Moony holding onto them, James, Sirius, and Peter made their way up the hills and stone to the castle doors, where Madam Pomfrey was waiting with floating stretchers to take them to get care.

The next morning, Prongs was woken up by the golden sun flooding in the dusty windows and Madam Promfrey shaking him gently. He squinted his eyes but saw the shadow of Sirius getting changed next to him through the drab, white curtains that were now pulled back. To his right, he saw an asleep, cut-up Remus, who would not be attending classes that day. When Madam Pomfrey saw that he was awake, she clucked her tongue and hurried back to her potion shelf.

"Mister Potter, you're fine enough to go to class today," she said, rummaging through her cabinet, "Just take a teaspoon of the regular, and your cuts will heal up fast."

She picked a fire-engine red corked glass and brisked over to James. Her wand became a measuring spoon as she poured the clumpy liquid onto it. James opened his mouth and squinted his eyes tight. Most every month, this potion was the one he took. It tasted strongly of copper and iron, as if he had swallowed a mouthful of bits of old Knuts and Sickles. Sometimes he wondered if that was what it was made of.

He swallowed the liquid and opened his eyes. Looking at the clock, he slipped on his muddy trainers and slid off the bed. When he passed Madam Pomfrey tending to a particularly nasty wound on Sirius' left thigh, he saw that Peter, who was on the other side of Padfoot, was in as bad shape as Remus. Peter's shoulder was bandaged in crisp white gauze, with a tiny drop of blood peeking through. There was a smelly yellow gel on his blue and purple arm, which obviously helped heal the bruises, because they were fading before his eyes. Wormtail was still asleep, which was probably good, because otherwise he would be complaining their ears off.

James passed down the stairs and started to Gryffindor tower, which luckily, wasn't too far away. Younger years were chatting and gossiping in the hallways, casting repulsive looks at James as he passed by in his tattered jeans and stained shirt. He sped up and rolled his eyes. Finally making it to the portrait hole, he clambered in and without looking at anyone, made his way up the boy's dormitory staircase. He pulled out an almost clean white shirt, Gryffindor tie and black pants, slipped them on, and shoved his feet into his filthy shoes. James grabbed the books he would need and sprinted down the stairs, out of the common room, and towards the Great Hall.

And then as he passed an empty classroom, he saw it. His legs slowed down.

A sobbing girl against a concrete wall.

Her red hair was stuck to her wet face. Her green eyes were spotty and sore.

And somewhere, in the back of his mind, James knew it was Lily.

But he kept on running.

And he never looked back.

James was surprised that the toast on the table was still warm when he slathered strawberry preserves on it. He repeated that with three pieces, put them on top of each other, and got up to go to class when Sirius came limping into the Great Hall with a smug on his face and a whiny Peter behind him. James didn't even want to deal with Peter right now, as his brain was blank and tired, and he really didn't want to think. So he strode right past them without a glance and headed to his first class, Herbology.

Since Remus was the only Marauder with James in first period, he was alone today. James got a bench at the back of the greenhouse and set his books on the stool as he went to get gloves. He looked around the room and saw that there was no Lily. Cataline was tapping her foot impatiently at the long line to the store shed in front of him.

"Hey, Cataline, where's Lily?" James inquired to the blond girl.

Cataline spun around and shot him a menacing look.

"I don't know. She wasn't at breakfast this morning. Why do you care?"

"Oh, I was just wondering." The conversation ended at that.

After James chose a pair of purple dragon hide gloves, he went back to the stool as he put them on.

"Today we'll be tending to sickly baby Devil's Snares. Who knows what the Devil's Snare is...?" Professor Sprout announced. James tuned out after that.

Sirius and Peter met up with James for third period, Potions. Peter strode behind Sirius, looking glum. Sirius was...well...the look on Padfoot's face was pretty readable: if someone would have handed Sirius any type of weapon, he would have killed Peter. James didn't feel for him as he had enough on his mind with empty thoughts. The three, rather, James and Sirius with Peter running to catch up to them, hurried to Slughorn's class. As soon as they reached the cold, damp dungeons, the two raven-haired boys ditched the ginger-haired one by taking a two-person workbench. Wormtail gave them a rude gesture and sat next to a lanky, mousy-haired Slytherin.

James wasn't sure if Sirius said anything the entire time Slughorn was talking because he wasn't listening to anything. His mind was full of bursting thoughts that never seemed to make any sense at all. He couldn't think. He couldn't listen. He couldn't even figure out _why _he couldn't think. Was it about Lily missing? He didn't really care about her right now. Was it about the lake? Maybe. But whatever it was, he was going to find Lily and ask her what was going on. And that was that.

By lunch time, giant, threatening clouds had come billowing in from the west side of the castle. Like dark gray puffs of frosting, they approached in a menacing matter, rolling in, lapping each other over and over until they hung over the castle ready to pour out rain. Students outside on the lake turned to the flashing clouds and rushed inside. Teenagers inside felt the rumbling of the thunder echoing on the wooden floors and peered outside the windows covered in condensation. Most made their escape to the Great Hall just as the rain started coming down in sheets, pounding on the roof.

Since Sirius had ditched James and Peter for no apparent reason, Peter said he was going to see how Remus was going, which left James alone for lunch. Grabbing two turkey and gravy sandwiches from the platter on the table and a mug of cinnamon-apple tea, James skipped sitting and headed to his dorm room. Once he got there with lukewarm sandwiches and not-so hot tea, he pulled out the Marauder's Map from under the plank on his bed. Eating his sandwich nonchalantly, he unfolded the parchment.

"I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

From the tip of his wand, ink leaked out into its proper lines on the paper.

Every second that went by that he didn't see her tiny red-headed replica, he grew angrier, and even though he would never admit it, he was worried about her. He scanned the library...the corridors...the Great Hall...the astronomy tower...the girl's bathroom...and there was no Lily.

Enraged, he stuffed the map hastily in his trunk and finished his sandwiches without drinking his tea. James took his books for the next two classes, Care of Magical Creatures and Astronomy. He was looking forward to Astronomy- Lily was in that class.

He skipped every other stair going down to the common room and sort of did a half-walk, half-jog through the common room and towards the portrait hole. He stopped a few inches before it when someone came in. It was Lily.

She ran into him as she walked through. Lily realized who it was when she heard his deep voice say, "Sorry..."

When James realized that it was Lily who he was holding, he let go of her and stepped back. Her hazel eyes were tired, like they had been crying all day, and Lily looked like she hadn't slept at all. In her hands was a white envelope, now crumpled from her fist reacting to the surprise she had just received.

"Sorry. I should have been more careful," James said blankly. Lily's mouth was open in shock and fear. But James just strode out like nothing had happened.

Once out in the cool air, James swore so loudly that the ravens perched atop the Whomping Willow flew out into the open. Those words I will not put onto paper, but I assure you that they were sharp enough to cut through diamonds themselves. As the birds flew away, a onyx colored owl swooped down at James' head. At first, he thought it was just a raven, but this owl was holding a crisp white envelope with a bit ripped at the top and a tear stain on the back.

Sorry guys about the delay, you can kill me for it but then you won't get any more chapters. :) I will honestly try to update more often. Message me if I don't update soon enough!

Reviews make me happy...and make me write faster and with better-icity. Haha.

Hope you guys are having a terrific summer- I've been out for over a month and so far I've made over $300...and um, spend $200. Be safe and don't do anything stupid unless it sounds really really fun!

-Megan


	7. No Explanation

The dark owl landed on James' shoulder and held out an envelope tied to its scaly leg. Carefully undoing the twine, he took the envelope into his hands and slipped his finger under the seal. He unfolded the paper.

_I'm sorry_

He shook his head and tore up the paper, bits and shreds dancing down to the ground in the wind. He was so mad at her...and he didn't know why.

The black owl had long ago flew off, and James was left in the dark, windy, suddenly cold open grounds. The sky was hardly lighter than midnight, and lightning illuminated the skies. Rushing in, he decided to skip class, and headed for the only room in the castle he could be alone in: the Room of Requirement.

Pacing back and forth, James thought, _I need a place to be alone_. But after several tries, the doorway was just granite stone and he gave up. James marched to the common room, his hair astray and eyes furious. Mumbling the password, he clambered in and went right up to the dormitory without so much as locking eyes with anyone. Rain pounded on the foggy window so hard that it sounded like hail. James laid on his bed and closed the curtains, shielding him from the world as emotion raged inside of him.

…

The next morning, he woke up to find himself still in his uniform, shoes and all. It was still very pale outside as James undressed and took a shower, the events of the previous day washing down the drain. He stumbled, bleary-eyed, back in the dorm with a towel wrapped around his waist and hair dripping wet. After putting on clean clothes and drying his hair, he went down to the common room to find solitude. The socks on his feet felt soft as they collided with the once-plush rug. James looked at the grandfather clock. Its shimmering gold hands said that it was only six twenty-one, much too early for the majority of students to be awake. He just curled up in the olive green chair with the newly replenished fire crackling in front of him, thinking about her.

He sat like that for at least another hour, the time seeming much longer in the silence. Finally, he noticed that a ray of sunshine peeked through a narrow window, and suddenly, he heard the grumbles of awakening, the glide of dresser drawers, and the rush of shower water. James uncurled himself and found that his muscles were sore now; He climbed up the stairs, slipped on his shoes, and gathered his books beneath his arm.

At the Gryffindor table, the few students there poured over books; midterms were coming up soon. James scooped up hash browns onto his plate, eating ferociously, as if he were drowning his mouth. Like yesterday, he hastily ate and then ran off to the next class, not wanting to have contact with classmates, or worse-_ her_.

…

Lily lay on her unmade bed, knees to her chin, with her golden red hair fawning over her shoulders like an elegant fan. She was already dressed as her dorm mates were climbing into the shower and brushing their hair. She was up thinking all night. Did she still like James? Did she like him at all? Lily couldn't decide whether she felt anything for him at all, and that night fell into an uneasy sleep. Instead of waiting for her friends to go down to breakfast, as they did most every morning, she pushed her gray-stockinged feet into black Mary Janes and twisted her hair up. She prayed that she wouldn't see James; she couldn't face him, not now. Thankfully, she didn't see him on the walk to breakfast, nor in the Great Hall as she took a seat in the middle of the table. A sapphire colored plate lay in front of her, waiting to be of service. She heard giggling across the room and saw a seventh year couple in Ravenclaw holding hands. Suddenly, Lily wasn't hungry.

…

First period seemed to drag on for hours as the two sat in their separate classes, obviously not paying a speck of attention. Lily mistranslated everything the entire class in Ancient Runes; James accidentally turned his piglet into a pound of bacon in Charms. Lily felt guilty and sad; he was angry and horribly confused.

They managed until lunch to avoid each other. It was when he saw her sitting at the end of the table, acting perfectly normal and laughing with a black-haired girl, he went up to her and broke it all.

"Get up," he said, not unkindly.

She was not staggered to see him; on the contrary, it looked as though she expected it. In one fluid movement, she swung her bag over her shoulder and got up from the bench. James led her outside the Great Hall, through a door that looked as though it had been used as a dartboard, and behind a great tall statue, away from view of the few students on grounds.

"What the hell was that all about?" James said roughly.

Lily looked down; she didn't have an answer.

"I don't know, okay?"

"The bloody hell you don't know, Evans! You-" He stopped short. He found that curse words weren't the way to go with girls, so he shut his mouth. Lily interjected.

"Look, I'm sorry. It was just…I dunno…things aren't that easy right now. I'm sorry. That's all I can say." And Lily was telling the truth.

James looked at her for a few moments. He took a great deep breath and nodded.

"It's okay. It's fine."

She smiled a little and heard the clock bell ring loudly.

"Well…yeah," she said uneasily and gathered her bag to N.E.W.T. Potions.

"Yeah," James said as she walked away. He sighed.

"Yeah."

Ruffling his hair, he set off for Herbology, his heart somehow lighter and heavier at the same time.

…

…

Sorry about the delay on this one guys, I know it's short, please forgive me!

REVIEW!!!!!!


	8. Delivery

AN: (waits for shots) Well, I'm glad you're still with me, all. It turns out I didn't die after all.

…

Lily couldn't help but smile when she finally got to her class. It was an apology for what she did, to say the least. And it might have not been the best apology in the world, but it was something. Lily sat with a weight off her shoulders and her heart fluttering like a Golden Snitch. The guilt still sat in the back of her mind, but now the guilt was slowly dissipating out of her head and evaporating like smoke from a chimney. If you observed her closely throughout the day, you would have notice her legs swinging back and forth like an impatient child; tiny doodles of "JP" on her notebooks; a bit of a sparkle in the corner of her eyes. Lily was free from her sin. But her salvation was yet to come.

James wasn't as lighthearted as Lily was throughout the day. His soul was heavy with grief; the kind that's heavy and exhausting. He liked her; he could even go as far as to say that he loved her; but there was false hope. Their recent actions were bipolar and extreme; from the kiss to the push in the lake to their smiles. And the constant cloud of guilt over still having the diary was casting a shadow over James. Its thundering and lightning constantly reminded him of it and the pain he was causing Lily in his selfishness and foolishness. And it led him to the idea of a plan. His heart leaped with hope.

"Sirius, you've gone up to the girl's dorm before, right?" James asked at dinner, which consisted tonight of rosemary pheasant that looked quite appetizing, even to James who wasn't in a golden mood.

"Nah, no way to get up those stairs," he replied, as usual, with food stuffed in his mouth.

"There's got to be a way!" he demanded, fear sinking inside him.

Remus shook his head in his matter-of-fact way. James had to get another plan. He knew there was some way, some way he could get the diary back to her without Lily knowing it was him. There had to be a way.

…

Angie stood in front of the painting of the wild bobcat, slinking in its picture silkily and with menace. She tucked her short black hair behind her ear, her glasses-clad eyes shifting nervously through the near-empty corridors. If he got her in trouble, so help her…. But he showed up, dutifully, as she knew he would have, holding a package wrapped in brown paper.

James had slipped her a note in class asking her to meet him at the painting, and though she was skeptical of his motives, she had known him long enough to hope he wasn't going to do anything stupid.

"Angie, thank you," he began, equally as nervous and in a rush. "Listen, this is all I need you to do. And please, please don't ask any questions. I promise, it's better if you don't know."

"Why shouldn't I know? God, James, you better not be doing anything illegal-"

"Trust me, please, Angie. I will tell you later, you just can't know right now." James looked at her with pleading eyes.

"Fine. Just tell me why I'm here."

"Listen," he said quietly. "I need you to slip this under Evans' mattress while she isn't looking. Unwrap it and put it there. Don't touch it with your bare hands, just put it there like it was put there naturally. Please, and just, please, don't let her know."

Angie looked at him with doubt. She'd known James for a few years, distantly, no doubt (for who would socialize with a girl with glasses, never mind how pretty she was underneath), and with all his selfishness she hoped there was something honest in him. She shook her head.

"Fine," was all she said.

James was so happy he could have kissed her, married her, but he resorted to a brief and adrenaline-induced hug. He handed her the package.

"Thank you, Angie, God, thank you so much," he whispered hurriedly. "I have to go, thank you, Angie, thank you."

James looked both ways before he ran off into the next corridor and up the stairs.

With curiosity, Angie slumped into a doorwell and peeled back the wrapping carefully. She held the paper to the item inside and uncovered enough to see that it was a diary. With a scoff, she shook her head and wondered.

She trusted people too much, she did. It was her greatest flaw. To believe people are good when they're not well, that was something Angie believed in, something she did quite often. She wondered if the good of the world had perished, if lies had replaced truth in entirety. The sting of betrayal had felt its way into her skin many times, but this time, she had a job to do. _Maybe someone has to get hurt, _she thought._ As long as it's not me._

Fortunately for her, it's wasn't going to be.


End file.
